Dear Jon + Kate

Please shut up.

You have allowed yourselves to be filmed 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you don’t want people talking about you, kindly reconsider broadcasting your lives on TV.

If this is a ‘private matter,’ stop being on the cover on US Weekly 3 weeks in a row.

I love your kids. I have a ton of your episodes saved on my DVR for those rainy days. I wanted to be your nanny and steal little Leah cause she is so darn cute.

But seriously stop pimping out your children for a paycheck and please consider ending these money-grubbing endeavors.

I am sure that raising eight children is hideously expensive, and congratulations on successfully turning squeezing out six kids in one shot into a multi-million industry.

But now that you have all the free merchandise and tummy tucks that you've wanted; Now that you've bought a house and have enough money to hire nannies and a body guard; I think it’s safe to say you aren't on welfare and won't be there any time soon.

TLC and both of you are master manipulators for not deciding to stop this 10-passenger family trainwreck, end the show, and seek professional help.

You are worse than Speidi.

Observantly,
Your old fan who will tell you like it is.

*** *** *** ***

p.s. Jay Z Jon, last time I checked you were not a p.i.m.p. but rather a father of eight, so please take those diamond studs out of your ears.

And Kate, PLEASE get a date with some hair extensions. I’m a bit frightened of your angry possum/reverse mullet do.