Give me my $4 Latte or Else.

Dear lady in Starbucks line,

This morning I left my house early and headed to Starbucks to fix my daily over-the-top-expensive-but-totally-worth-it caffeine craving. I absolutely love coffee. Love it. It's my thing. My vice. Coffee really is nature’s perfect drink. My Starbucks addiction can only be described as fierce.

But then I encountered you. {And I don't consider myself on the genius level or anything but this morning's experience with you left me walking away feeling like Einstein.}

All I wanted this morning was my $4.35 skinny vanilla latte, but you made me suffer for 25 minutes while you gazed at the drink menu on the wall in pure bewilderment as it were written in hieroglyphics.

Somebody please kill me.

Have you never been to a Starbucks before? I mean really? For crying out loud the menu is the same wherever you go. They all carry the same items at the same price. It's like Coach. or McDonald's. The price is always the same. The menu is always the same.

(muffled scream)

It doesn't matter where you go for your venti, soy-vanilla, 1/2 decaf, no foam latte...it never changes. Moreover, your decision of whether to get your latte iced or hot, skim or regular is not life-altering. Decide, pay and move one.

If you were from a rural area lady, I would understand.. I would even feel sympathetic that you have never seen a Starbucks before. But I know you are not. And you know how I know? Well you are wearing Xhilaration shoes. They sell those at Target. You know what they also sell at Target? Yupp, you guessed it.

So I am going to ask you to next time limit your unnecessary twaddle and stop holding up the freaking line. And if you happen to be in line again tomorrow, I will go in front of you and order for you. Because 8 a.m. is too early to be dealing with this.

Yours with shaky hands,
-Me

***

Edited to Add: I am normally a really nice girl (I swear!) but I guess I'm finding out that I'm not that much of a morning person. :)