Thursday, October 22, 2009

Oh, it's good to be married!

We have all had our share of bad dates? Right? Well after recently reading about my friend's worst date story, I decided that I needed to share my own.

Well, here it is, My Worst Date Ever:

My worst date EVER was with a guy I met in one of my classes in college. I had heard that he liked me so I decided it was worth a shot to get to know him better. Not to mention that he did not only look like a younger version of John F. Kennedy Jr., but was also super smart in class. We planned on meeting at a well-known, upscale restaurant about 30 minutes away.

As a safety precaution, I told him that afterwards I had to head home because I had to study was a little under the weather. I could always have a miraculous recovery if we hit it off!

When I showed up at the restaurant, as I was walking in, I saw him sitting at a bar taking a shot. Yes. True Story. I had to do a double take. Was my date really slamming shots? I really wanted to turn and run for my dear life, but much to my misfortune, he already saw me and started waving obnoxiously. By obnoxiously, I mean he had both hands straight up into the air, swinging them back and fourth like a baboon. Grrrreat. It was too late to pretend that I didn't know him. As I walked closer to the bar, beat red I am sure, I could clearly tell that he was already bordering on wildly intoxicated. I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life. After greeting me, or I should say sloppily hugging, he informed me that he done a few shots prior to my arrival to “calm [his] nerves.” WTF? Who does that?

Anyway, moving on, I collected my composure and sat down, as he offered to buy me a drink. While I opted for a glass of wine, he ordered a beer & a Cherry Bomb. {uh-huh, a serious class act this dude is} As he slammed the latter & started in on the former, he continually asked me why I was "nursing" my drink. Really? This is a date, not a frat party. What did he want me to do, keg stands? At that moment I seriously began to question my decision to participate in the date but soldiered on nonetheless.

The hostess finally cautiously approached us to tell us our table was ready. Amazing. I had to eat dinner and pretend to make conversation with a drunken fool. This should be interesting. I ate my food in record time. 15 minutes. I literally inhaled my crab cakes while the wild man kept slurring words and downing drinks. Very charming and attractive at it's best, if I do say so myself. He also rambled on about what a great 'connection' he had. {I assume he was referring to the alcohol, and NOT me}

Suddenly feeling "ill" and remembering I had to study, I asked for our check. After apologizing profusely to our understandably bewildered but bewilderingly understanding waitress, we left.

Feeling sorry for this hot mess express, I offered to take him home. When we finally made it back to his driveway, he seemed to think nothing had gone wrong. Before exiting the car, he casually asked me for another date. Before I could push him out scream NO, he explained that he needed our next date to be in his “neck of the woods” because he had gotten a DUI few weeks ago and couldn’t “really continue driving long distances without a license.” Dear Jesus. What a class act. Tres classy, no?

I told him absolutely not, asked him to get out of the car and told him never to call me again.

Fast forward to next morning when I was awakened by three text messages. Not to apologize. To see if I wanted to hang out again. {I am being serious as a heart attack.}
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _

On a good note, I am now married to a man who plans out-of-this-world dates. (BONUS) And who prefers to go on them sober. (DOUBLE bonus)

Your turn- share your worst date story! I want to hear I am not alone.


  1. Oh my god, hysterical! I cannot believe that was an actual "date"... who in their right mind?! Good luck to his future wife.

    I actually have never had a "bad" date. I have gone on dates where I have been uninterested so I ran to the bathroom and had friends fake accidents or break-ups and they need me RIGHT. NOW.

    ...but nothing compares to this date! OH! M! G!

  2. I don't think I've ever had a horrible date. Akward mayeb, but no disater dates. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend now that takes me on AMAZING dates!

  3. oh this is funny. not sure i can top it, but i definitely enjoyed the story!!

  4. OH MY GOSH this is hilarious.. (but i felt sorry for the whole time reading haha) Props to you for handling it so well!

  5. OMG what a horrible horrible date!!!! who does this? i dont know how you didnt just leave him at dinner. so nice of you to take his drunk butt home! glad you are happily married now :)

  6. Wow, you're a brave girl for staying for the date. i think I would have taken the glass of wine and ran!

  7. It's stories like this that remind me how fabulous it is to be married!

  8. LOVE THIS POST!! Check out my disaster date here:

  9.!!!! That is unbelievable! I couldn't believe the DUI part at the end! Just when it couldn't get worse! I wish I had a good one, but I dated a huge jerk throughout college who actually didn't take me on dates. Ever. Not one. He also told other people that we weren't actually together, behind mu back. I have said many many times how grateful and wonderfully lucky i am to have lucked out with my hubby!!

  10. Oh my gosh! Hearing that story made me LOL (as you usually do!), what a Klassy guy. You, however, were classy as always.

  11. oh my gosh that is hilarious! i can't believe he said and did those things! i think the worst date i ever had was a first date to in-n-out... it was really awkward and just odd.

    being married does rock!

  12. Oh my gosh! That's the worst!! Haha.


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