Thursday, August 20, 2009

The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers

according to CNN... Please read.

This is pretty funny!

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore.
"I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.

The Self-Promoter.
OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

The Town Crier.
"Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

The TMIer.
"Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

The Bad Grammarian.
"So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

The Sympathy-Baiter.
"Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

The Lurker.
The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.

The Crank.
These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

The Paparazzo.
Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

The Maddening Obscurist.
"If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.

The Chronic Inviter.
"Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you?" I will have to say that these are my biggest pet peeve. No offense, but seriously, really could live without knowing what Michael Jackson song you are or what Finding Nemo characer describes you best.


So, admit it, are you any of these?! : )

I guess I would probably classify myself as the Papparazzo as evident by the bazillions of pictures I take on a daily basis. But I guess considering my other choices, this isn't that bad. haha


  1. I deleted my facebook, cause I was sick of getting poked and asked what effin drink I was...I might sign up again one day but ugh I hate those damn invites.

  2. Have to admit...I'm actually a lurker...I don't take time to update, but I certainly like to look at other's who do! ;o) I figure that if you really care then you'll read the blog where most of the exciting stuff is written out anyway!

  3. Hahaha that's funny! I can't stand the inviters or the sympathy baiters! :)

  4. omg my boss sent this to me!!! its sooo true, xxxoooo

  5. The Self Promoter drives me insane! every once in awhile its okay but nonstop is just too much.

    a girl from high school posts a professional picture of herself and the first paragraph of her blog every time she updates. and yesterday she did that and commented that she is so excited that her blog has been ready in 4 countries and 16 states... I totally get being excited about that stuff, but do you really need to constantly post about it and put your glamour picture up every time?!?

    Also, the people who take those quizzes... like 10 of them a day.. its just too much. my entire facebook homepage is about which 5 characters from the 80s you are and when you will get married.

    love this post - so true!

  6. I don't think I'm any of the extremes (I hope not!) but I know each one! I actually "hide" a girl because she took like 5,000 tests a day and published each one. Ugh, who cares?!

  7. Haha! This is funny! I can't stand getting all those invites... or even some of the notifications... you have 27 untaken friend quizzes (read: just because we are "friends" on facebook doesn't mean I know you well enough to take a quiz on your life!). I have gotten to be a pro at hitting ignore on the invites.

    Hope you had a great day!

  8. I knew as soon as I saw this title I would love it!!Great find! I also hate people that want to post on someone's wall and they actually post that comment as their status. Figure it out people!!!

  9. That is hilarious! I hate the Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-Types and the chronic inviter. I actually "deleted" someone today because he was just an acquaintance and we never chatted he was just WAY involved in Mafia Wars and I got tired of his updates taking up all my status updates. People are nuts!

  10. omg you crack me up! sadly i think i am a combo of 1st two. im a big believer in self promotion - hello i blog that explains enough. and i probably share too much detail sometimes. but hey its my fb i can do waht i want!

    this is funny!

  11. This was great!!! Haha, I love your names!!

  12. omg this is too funny! I actually am guilty of a few...I tell people what is going on in my day and sometimes change the grammar...hmm I wonder why I do that. I don't even know! Too funny though!

  13. OMG sooo true!! I cannot stand the people who cannot spell. Or instigate debates purely to stir up trouble.

  14. haha this is too funny! I am guilty of #1 and sometimes #2 : ) I have an ex friend that was a lurker on my friends pages! EXTRA creepy!

  15. This was hilarious! I can definitely point out people I know who make up each category!

  16. This is one of the best posts I have read today! I am for sure a Papparazzo!!

  17. OMG...too funny! I simply CANNOT handle the Sympathy-Baiters! I usually block them!

  18. This cracked me up and I haven't even taken the facebook plunge yet=)!

  19. HAHA this is great!! I'm for sure the Papparazzo one!

  20. This is hilarious...and so true. I hate those quizzes as well. They should be banned! And they take up so much room on the news feed page! I Do Not Care!

  21. ha, love the list!
    i have to say i ususally only go on fb to look at friends pics ;)

  22. There is a girl who constantly updates her status with how much she runs every morning and how she felt about it... it drives me crazy! haha!

  23. i think we allll have done pretty much allll of them at some point or another..but hey that is the point of a status..with these 12 choices it doesn't really leave you anything else? what do you think?

  24. I am so a lurker. I like to stalk my friends. I see nothing wrong with that.

  25. This is hilarious!! I might be the paparazzo at times.. It's getting better now that I'm (trying to) growing up!! My least favorite is the chronic inviter.. gah. so annoying!

  26. This is so funny. Everybody on Facebook is at least one of these. I'm the lurker. I almost never update my FB status because I'm too lazy to figure out a cute way to say "I'm goofing off at work playing on Facebook."

  27. Ahhh I have friends on FB that are all of these! I'm probably the lurker thanks to the news feed and my good memory. Damn them!! You should check out, they have the funniest FB stuff EVER!


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