Friday, May 29, 2009

The hardest choice you'll ever make in a marriage.

Is deciding who drives.

I love my husband. But the dude has a few issues. Seriously. :)

Hubs and I don't argue about much, but for the life of us, we can't decide who drives when we go on trips. Seriously. Ridiculous? Yes. And yet, always entertaining.

So here is how it normally goes:

I like to drive. When I am not actually driving, I like to yell tell the person who is what I think they should do next. A lot. It's really a ton of fun to ride in the car with me. Especially if I don't think you're a good driver. More often than not, you will probably tell me to stop talking. But that's okay, I don't mind. I'm fairly used to it.

Because of this, most trips with Hubs start out with me pouting about the fact that he never lets me drive. He will even admit that he doesn't like to drive very much, but that my driving scares him.

I'm not sure why. I am an excellent driver. I've never had three accidents a moving violation or a speeding ticket. (I'm knocking on wood. Or the couch. Whatever's closer. There's wood in there somewhere.)

The point is, I'm a backseat driver. I'll admit it. I am firmly convinced that I am saving us every time with my shrieking, pedestrian-watching, and eye-covering. Hubs actually thinks that my hysterics will distract him to the point where it will cause an accident, but I don't think so.

I'm helping.

On any long car trip, the only way to assure that one of us will not be tossed out the window into oncoming traffic is if Hubs is driving, and I am drugged. Not kidding. And if we are on a car ride and I am not asleep, the conversation usually goes something like this:

*** *** *** ***
ME: Keep your eyes on the road!

HUBS: I am! Stop yelling.

ME: No you're not. If you were, you would have started slowing down earlier.

HUBS: Leave me alone!

ME: That guy is merging! Do you see it? DO YOU SEE IT??!

HUBS: Yes, I see it. *fiddles with the radio*

ME: (screeching) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HUBS: (turns to look at me) What?


HUBS: (forced to step firmly on the brakes as the car in front of us slows down, causing me to grab the door handle and duck for cover)

*** *** ***
So today should be fun. We are driving 2.5 hours to go home and see our parents. I hope that we both make it there and neither one becomes roadkill :)

And regardless of his lack of driving skills, hubs is still the best.husband.ever. (um, hello, he put sup with me. he is a saint!) I adore him to pieces. :) But we are slowly learning the meaning of "for better or for worse" loosely translates into "we should really save up and hire a chauffeur." haha.


Hope everyone has a terrific weekend! We are off to spend some quality time with our families! Then Saturday, we have tickets to the Indians/Yankees game! I can't wait. Hope the weather stays this gorgeousssss....

Adios, lovelies!


  1. Ha! I'm totally a backseat driver when DH drive. It makes him so mad... and I'm beginning to think it's a girl thing :cp

  2. ohmygosh, this cracks me up! okay, so for long drives, i'm usually the passenger- which means i fall asleep within 30 minutes to an hour of the drive.. i can't help myself sometimes- not to mention that Hub's driving makes me a little nauseous. But for all of the short errand-y type trips? i'm the driver.. and it definitely freaks Hubs out at times! He is SUCH the backseat driver and hellooo, I'm the one who boasts the (almost) immaculate driving record!!! Aren't husbands funny? Have a fabulous weekend!

  3. sounds a LOT like me and my hubby~ i'm forever clenching the door handle (or anything within reach) and slamming on my imaginary brake on the passenger side. he happens to think it's "funny" (so NOT funny) and knows better to ask me if i'd like to drive, because he knows the answer...;)

  4. LOL! That's the most hilarious thing I've read at 8:20 in the morning. I let my hubs drive any chance I get. Our road trip to my parents is about 10 hrs...I read, he drives, I occasionally offer to drive praying he doesn't take me up on it. If my nose is buried in a book I'm less likely to notice the semi he's driving dangerously close to. =)

  5. omg ahaha... I dont love to drive, so I am lucky Jared does.. but I still throw my two cents in everytime he goes to fast or gets too close to another car... xxooo

  6. haha, you and Pink Sass are exactly alike when it comes to driving! She is nuts too! but love yall for it! I could care less about driving!
    Hope you have a wonderful weekend with your familes!

  7. Hilarious!!! This is so me! My poor husband gets so annoyed with me.

  8. I'm the say way! I'm really good with's was a gift from God :) No matter where I am, I know where I am no matter what! But my boyfriend on the other hand relies on that GPS like a lifesafer! If we fight 99.9% of the time it is in the car. I think he is just a bad driver...and I'm the best ever! Of course that's not exactly true but I let him think it is, ha!

  9. cutest post ever!

    we argue about who wants to drive on long trips. i think the boy should do it - just bc thats what i think. and his boney butt hurts after a few hours! what a weenie!

    kidding aside - i feel the same way - matt is a KING for putting up with me on a daily basis! HA!!

  10. hahah this is hilarious! See I ALWAYS end up driving and i really dont like to. Everytime we take long trips Tara is in the driver seat while drew sleeps! boo!

  11. OMG - this is HILARIOUS! I think everyone can relate to this post. This is exactly how me and my fiance are when we are going anywhere. He thinks I'm a horrible driver (WHATEV!) and an even worse backseat driver. It's always fun to be in the car with us!

  12. hahaha!

    I feel the same way! I always freak out when Josh is driving and I think someone is too close or he isn't leaving enough space haha

  13. my husband will not let me drive lol! :)

  14. I feel you...I shreik and eye cover every time I get in the car with Big Man

  15. LOL...this post had me giggling, because I can SO relate! Hope your trip went well and wasn't too painful for you two!

  16. LOL I'm always getting on the hubs about his driving. Before, it was that he drives like a grandma, but now he drives too fast! Poor guy!

  17. my mr. wonderful drives and I am glad he does, except when he brakes too suddenly or we go over bumps too fast...and I tell him I'm a girl and it hurts my boobs.... haha
    such a funny post!!!

  18. Hahah! I LOVE this!! So true. :)

  19. Haha!! So true--I do the whole slam my foot on the imaginaty brake pedal and grab the door for dear life. He doesn't like that so much...

  20. You just described me and Wade's exact conversations in the car! I'm so glad I'm not alone. Lol.


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